Sooooo....like I said, I'm not good at follow-through. Unfortunately, this blog is not immune from that.
Good news is, I had a real wake-up call regarding the baby and the wheat allergy. I managed to totally avoid wheat for a whole week---and saw all of the last symptoms finally clear up. Then, a friend was in town and we just had to have Chinese food for lunch. I *tried* to avoid anything that OBVIOUSLY had wheat in it, but I must have eaten something because that night the baby had HUGE red welts all over the hip area. I felt so terrible, I cried. And now, if I wouldn't feed it to the baby, I don't eat it either.
Bad news is, there are a LOT of gluten free options out there (well, actually I guess in a lot of ways, that's good news....) but a lot of them aren't so healthy. So while I had initially thought this may jump start my weight loss, I don't think that's going to be the case. For lunch just now I ate 2 gluten free chocolate cupcakes (the 5 year-old turned 6 yesterday), and half a bag of jalapeno potato chips. Oh, and of course the can of Coke Zero. Not exactly weight loss friendly.
Oh, and I now have even more compelling reasons for losing this weight. I developed a heart murmur while pregnant with the baby and it never went away. I've seen a couple of cardiologists and may finally be close to an answer as to what the problem is. The cardiologist I saw last week told me I need to cut out all caffeine immediately because it could be contributing to the heart palpitations I've been having. He also said I need to exercise more, so as to build up my cardiac endurance for exertion---in other words, so I don't feel like I'm going to pass out after I haul the 2 year old up one flight of stairs. Honestly, I don't feel like that after one flight....but I don't know if I could do two. So, a CARDIOLOGIST has officially told me that I'm overweight, out of shape, and that my heart may be suffering for it; and what am I doing at this moment? Ignoring the elliptical sitting two feet from me and slugging down a Coke Zero.
I can't be the only human being on the planet like this, right? Last week, the doctor asked me WHY I don't exercise more. He didn't even pause to wait from my answer before he said, "No time?...." as if that's the answer he always hears. I hesitated and said, "Yeah, that's part of it...." and he moved on. The honest answer has nothing to do with time. Yeah, I have 4 kids, two of them ages 1 and 2. Yeah, my husband works 60+ hours a week. Yeah, I spend two hours a day just getting commuting with the kids to and from school. That's really not an excuse, and I totally know it. The honest answer is that I have no motivation. I think that's most people's honest answer, whether they can even admit it to themselves or not. I could get on that elliptical right now. Yep, I sure could. But, the fact is, I don't want to, and there's no one here to make me, and I can tell myself I will start tomorrow, so, you can be pretty certain that elliptical will not get used today.
My motivation is starting to pick up a bit though. When a cardiologist tells you your heart could be in trouble at the age of 32, well, that starts to stir a little motivation. Maybe, just maybe, I'll get on the elliptical.....tomorrow......
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